Log in

27 October 2009 @ 12:17 am
So this is what it's like to be happy..truly happy.

I almost forgot what this feels like.
11 August 2009 @ 02:59 am
everything is hitting me in the face like a brick lately. one by one. brick after brick.
i'm suddenly too fat to deal with. i didn't realize just how heavy i'm becoming again. i need to do something about that.
i'm ruining all the relationships around me. pulling away from people. pushing others to a distance.
i've stopped seeing certain people. for fear of how it would be if i did see them now. and how'd i'd react or what they'd say or do.
i've stopped caring about almost everything.
i've become more broke than i have been in years.
i've stopped caring about my diet.
i havent written any poems in many many months
i haven't taken any real photos in a while
i dont talk to anyone anymore.
i dont go anywhere anymore
i dont want to go to work
i just want to sleep.
and drink alcohol
i'm not myself anymore.
i dont know who this is. but i dont like her at all

i want myself back.
31 May 2009 @ 05:31 am
always a hit to the face hearing someone else at the bar just as drenched in the black wave as i am.
on one hand, it's comforting to know i'm not alone in the dark sea, being dragged down by the undertow.
and on the other hand, i can totally feel his pain finding its way under my skin.
'cause i know that pain all too well.
and that feeling brings me even further out to sea.
in the dark waves.
always fighting that relentless undertow.
02 May 2009 @ 04:23 pm
You're a drunk.
and you never come home.
where the hell'd you think you'd end up?

not satisfied, that's for sure.
not where you should be, that's for sure.
oh what'd you really think would happen

you're a wreck.
you're a drunk.
should've known the waves would come and bring you down.
lost at sea.
no way home.
and that undertow just won't give up.

what're you gonna do now
that you're alone.
you got no one left to take you home.

no one to hold.
and you're broke.
you think how'd it ever get this bad.

not satisfied, that's for sure.
not where you should be, thats for sure
oh how'd you really think this would go?

you're a wreck
you're a drunk
should've known the waves would come and bring you down
lost at sea
no way home
and that undertow just won't let up.

so go ahead
have another drink
you know it's gonna rinse the pain
but don't you expect me to stay
cause i just can't watch you fade away

well, you're a wreck
yeah, you're a drunk
you should've known those waves would come and bring you down.
now you're lost at sea
no way home
and this undertow just won't give up.

well, you're a drunk
and you never come home
so where the hell'd you think you'd end up
27 April 2009 @ 12:46 am
what's the point...
no one is even listening anymore.
wasting my breath.
wasting my time.

just like always.
26 April 2009 @ 10:21 pm

A woman left lonely will soon grow tired of waiting,
She’ll do crazy things, yeah, on lonely occasions.
A simple conversation for the new men now and again
Makes a touchy situation when a good face come into your head.
And when she gets lonely, she’s thinking ‘bout her man,
She knows he’s taking her for granted, yeah yeah,
Honey, she doesn’t understand, no no no no!

Well, the fevers of the night, they burn an unloved woman
Yeah, those red-hot flames try to push old love aside.
A woman left lonely, she’s the victim of her man, yes she is.
When he can’t keep up his own way, good Lord,
She’s got to do the best that she can, yeah!
A woman left lonely, Lord, that lonely girl,
Lord, Lord, Lord!

17 April 2009 @ 10:23 pm
anchors away
i can't promise you anything will be okay
all i can say
is when the water comes so will the horizon
anchors away
13 April 2009 @ 05:37 pm

I always knew I'd end up like this
a bleeding heart and booze soaked mind
and these lonely nights take so long
still I get by

But my arms can't take it
holding all this up
you tear it down anyway
never gave me a shot

So this is my white flag baby
falling apart and tattered
You can put down those fists now
cause honey, I surrender

I won't keep an eye out now
I won't be Paul Revere
You won't be coming two if by sea
You'll never see me in my tears

Used up all my ammo on you
Fought the war that never ends
But you- you can't be won
No you don't want to give in

So this is my white flag baby
falling apart and tattered
you can put down those fists now
cause honey, I surrender


21 February 2009 @ 01:11 pm
Maybe if i pray to the lord above,
I'll get some sleep,
But the lord don't give a shit about me.
24 January 2009 @ 09:41 pm
i wish i was more than just this.